brain butter VII: letting process just be

These word rumblings – I love bees bee-ing – seem just a recounting of things we do and think, buzzing by; any of that herein, can be seen as a glimpse only maybe into what we like to do, wish to do, or wonder as to why we do?

As appropriate as anything I write – and probably more so because it’s your life’s doings that matter above – are the things you do. Because someone else says, “this is what I do and this is how I do it,” etc., means nothing to you for how you should do what you do. Living your life the way you learn to listen to your quiet, trustable instincts, should never be affected directly by the way someone else does theirs.

A bit of Ralph Waldo Emerson, I think now, appears relevant to link – if you ever wish to read:

Self-Reliance

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Let’s say, you were young (as you will be) – growing up… filled with curiosity and interest which naturally directs your attention(s) and guides your learning.

Let’s say, that every time you did anything (i.e. picked up a ball on the ground), we cheered you on with great emotion, and exclaimed “good job!” or “yay!”

And with each celebrated act, you looked at us, at first perplexed (perhaps feeling, “why do they hoot and holler?”); and as this continues, your subsequent acts may be accompanied by looking to us, wondering how we will react or what we will say…

Your mom and I are sometimes befuddled by the amount of seemingly empty, irrelevant, and we think damaging praise given to not just babies but all levels of people, for simple, curiosity-driven acts (like taking a step or reading a page… or taking out the garbage).

If you ever wish, read 9 Reasons Not To Walk Babies, for further perspective. Personally, I loved it on so many levels; and your mom has added, “I totally agree!  Babies should be given the freedom and space for self-discovery.  They will learn on their own, and that in my opinion is the best way!”

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Does praise given for results really help anyone become more immersed in the process of living life??

Where does pushing ourselves and others beyond what’s simply happening, all come from?

Parents’ own inner rumbling??

Clearly we suppose:

Are we stirring inside – souls that are a-writhing – seeking for perceptual [but-we-think-real] attainments that are craftily placed as longings into us [subconsciously], by rat-racey, money-motivated calls to leap beyond our this?

I contend to you and anyone, that perhaps the more we try to get ahead or try to move along (or try to move someone else along) – as if we need to be somewhere or something beyond what this-here findeth, the more too we push away the peace inside residing, if only we were to let it.

The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves ~Alan Watts

In not being aware of our own need (?!) to accept life, as opposed to trying to strive to best it, we then unknowingly unwittingly reflect outward this restlessness, it seems, onto our world and into many young, empty, living slates: You are innocent – and yet glean so much that is not yours but our garbage if we are not careful.

So the idea, we hope – and more than “hope” we hope in thinking, talking, and writing about it – is to graft (craft?) into our days the opportunities to just be, and be content with ourselves or this as it is, and be OK with any of it.

As habit.

Building, cultivating, nurturing, endeavoring, enthusiasticating… this.

So that then, our outward reflections of this, to you, and to the worlds we inhabit, can take place – even flourish – unimpedingly. To the rooms we walk into with the hats we wear, forgive us please if we forget to notice how it is we wear them!

We would love to watch you grow and see what kind of person you become; we speak to one another of being curious of this almost daily! Minus as much as possible the desire for our own input to be added, veiled as expectation.

That we may push only onto you – as byproduct – what we ourselves do, plainly because we will continue to live our lives for us too and not simply for you.

Remember, if someday you wonder, that you started with us, as us began long before, with not us at all; that you are you as part of all of it, and we will go on being the us which is constantly fluxing, as you go on writing and reading your own story too – someday separate from us perhaps… (other than memories).

 

Long after you are “on your own” – or so you may think – your mom and I might just be dancing in new ways still, wiggling and giggling and uttering nonsensicality, thinking of you often I’d be willing to bet, and digging new ways to dig this.

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To say, “No!” just and only just at the times we think your world is filled with a ratio of dangers disproportionate to any other lively, “safe” interests, we’ll see…

That is, we hope “No!” is not something we throw around like candy because we’re unable to accept the fact that you’ll be getting yourself into all sorts of things we never dreamed of, or when we’re simply not willing in the moment to accept what is actually  happening (i.e. “Is [s]he really…?”)

But to say “No!” only when contextually appropriate, as in: “No!” if you’re trying to eat a poisonous plant.

And otherwise watching you, letting you know we’re around if and when the bell should sound, and letting you grow – without any supercilious pressures put on you by us!

Of course, this might be super tricky!!! Alas, a fun opportunity.

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Sometimes you may see your mom and I holding hands when we feel it’s right to do so, at the end of a day of work play and trifling and xxxxx, watching the sun go down or listening to the evening breeze through the trees. And this may always be enough.

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Tolstoy on -anti comes to mind, again, because we wish to keep too, much of our own anythings out of our watching you be:

The Anarchists are right in everything; in the negation of the existing order, and in the assertion that, without authority, there could not be worse violence than that of authority under existing conditions. They are mistaken only in thinking that Anarchy can be instituted by a revolution. “To establish Anarchy.” “Anarchy will be instituted.” But it will be instituted only by there being more and more people who do not require protection from governmental power, and by there being more and more people who will be ashamed of applying this power.

And circling back, that Zenso, you’ll come maybe to find out, seems to us less a program or way of going about, than the mere decisioning, daily, to program you as you please, to be learning to go about as habit, in the way that fits for you, based on your ever-trustable intuitness.

As Ray Peat has stated:

Making an effort to learn how to use techniques of food, hormones, light, activity, etc., is similar to the effort needed to work with a psychologist, and the effort itself is part of the therapy—the particular orientation of the psychotherapist isn’t what’s therapeutic, it’s the ability to participate in meaningful interactions, that is, the ability to provide a situation in which the person can practice being human. When people start thinking about the things in their life that can be changed, they are exercising aspects of their organism that had been atrophied by being in an authoritarian culture. Authoritarians talk about protocols, but the only valid ‘protocol’ would be something like ‘perceive, think, act.’

And that sense, crafted and being crafted continuously – your crafting of it now – which allows you, as a kind of modus operandi, to be okay with just being. Here, whatever it be, alive, and teaching into yourself a slow ease and glow of acceptance found opposite of what anyone else is saying you need to do.

If the way of those with whom you find yourself, is not much different than how it seems many around us behave, then you too may have to turn down the volume of social media, television, and whatever else airs the messages of “you’re not enough as you are”, only so that you may let the sweet process unfold as life does, without our poking and fussing at it too much to fuck it up.

The river doesn’t stop when you stop to watch it happening.

But if we chase and try with earnest to get ahead of it, or with ardor climb to get to the top, we’ll exhaust ourselves only long enough to see, it seems, that in our rushing we missed so many of the flowers. And stirred so many innocent “friends” into similar tizzy.

If just it be, ten minutes, or two, your mom and I will model this, watch, to walk outside in the morning bare foot, slowly, looking at other parts of us in the world, and listening. This grounding, and other little acts of Zenso, are uniquely ours and you too will figure out ways to do this, we wonder. That in your being, we’ll learn more from you just doing that, than you’ll ever know?!

Will I be anymore me, if I do two pullups or three?

Am I anymore alive if I get a-hundred-sixty grams of protein or seventy five??

I hear the sound of your mom experimenting with food to my right; I’m going in to kiss her.